Small things...

5.2” tall and 42 kgs…it’s ME.
Whenever someone calls me, the first question will be”Have you gained some weight?” No , Never….till date, I am the same small gal.
I had joined work then. My brother was at his 10th class. Mom asked me (rather bugged) to go a X school and enquire about 11th class admissions. There i go.... some exams were on ,which put me to wait outside. After the exams, I went to the administration department. There I saw a staff and enquired about the admission forms. He turned, adjusted his glasses and gave me a stern look, Typical strict teacher look,( I in turn gave scared & pavam look) and he screamed at me of course very harshly “First go and concentrate on your 10th exams. After that come for 11th admissions”. Man! I was so angry, and no i did not explain about my working status...instead ran back home with tears...and yelled at my mom.... She started her drama with her usual screen play ” if you are so small how will you get married…?i don’t know when you’ll put on weight… ETC…”.
Like Vodafone network, wherever I go this SMALL issue follows. The story continues….when I had been to my relatives (whom I had never seen before!) wedding with mom,some of them were so nice to me till One old lady asked me few compulsary questions these aged people ask in every family function… esp in weddings ”tell me who am I to you?” ( family ragging!!!). I gave her a close up grin and nodded yes and no, both ways. She immediately turned to her gang and said, “Its long time since I saw her. Now that she is grown up I am not able to recognize”.
But it dint end there. She pointed at her friend and asked me if I knew that friend. I replied “no”. Then she again said “You would have seen us when you were small. Now that you have grown up so much you don’t remember”. First, I confirmed she dint mock at me.My heart broke into pieces, as they repeated GROWN up thing everytime. I suppose …last time I grew was around 7th or 8th class. And at the function i was a working WOMAN. These aged people somehow find target for their time pass in such big occasions,... But things were better since she told ME. Had she told my mom, then senti scene retake….After that incident I stopped attending marriage functions.
But, yes as u guessed, I had to attend mine…and this small network ka problem followed me even there. In my own marriage, we (my family and few close relatives) went the day before all others came. While having dinner, I sat in a corner, with mehendi in my hands. The caterer came and enquired everyone about the food taste,service etc... He completed his duty by asking my mom (sitting next to me) “shall we send the dinner for your daughter to her room”. My mom (100%confused,im her only daughter:-@) looked at me and asked him “why?”. He- “It’s very late and she has not had her dinner till now. If she is busy, we’ll send it to her room.” For the first time ( probably since she successfully found a guy who loved her daughter the way she looked) i saw my mom replying to such a question with a broad smile,“this is my daughter. She is the bride”. He casually replied “sorry, I thought it was bride’s sister.....”…
People who attend marriages make thier maximum contribution before exiting... they did in mine too..they did leave a note to my husband at the marriage hall, "every girl will put on weight after marriage because of happiness, we will see her after a year and will get know how you treat her..". /my mom was so relieved to have transferred her burden to him, happily, with a grand celebration…
Small story did continue .... Once, my husband and I went to a famous temple. While we prayed, the priest shouted at my husband “Sir, please move”, before i followed my husband he screamed “papa Move!” ...I know!now i gave him smiley look…, my husband gave him a Killer look! He came out and told me “I have decided to starve and become thin as you, reverse doesnt happen "!
Women feel happy when someone tells her she looks younger than her age…So am I !
However we are, Happiness lies in the way we carry our self!
Happy women’s day!!!!

Emotions recollected in tranquility!!!!!!

After lunch, I sat comfortably on my chair, and stared into the latest comments list wrt the document I had sent. The mail put a comma to my “one week struggle”. Time zoomed past, as I tried to figure the rectification methods. It was 6 pm and people were leaving for evening snacks.
My team members some how never created the feeling of working beyond office hours in me... I def take pride in telling this,.because they hardly go home. In fact if someone around my cubicle called it a day at 6 p.m, it meant he was on permission that day!
me…Man it was a tough day. I too wanted a break, break time is never been a lone one...i pinged my friend and we hurried to stuff our tummy and like other days we were fastest to return from break (rarely we have 20min long break ). We literally swallowed the samosa’s, sharing with each other the warm reception our design documents had recieved .That has always been so much fun,atleast it has helped us to take it easily...trust me we really enjoy the break time mainly because of this..finally returned to the scariest place in office,(my desk).like a brave soldier.., picked up the specs, took a deep breath and got ready… ya what else, just to look @ my mail box for more IMPORTANT, URGENT mails, cc ‘ed to almost all top level management people. Especially when it comes to mails pointing out my errors, i always had a gut feeling that BCC columns were also filled.I have to agree these escalations became routien...somehow with help of my fellow intellectuals(my team members were ), I came to a conclusion about the design document and called it a day around 8.30 p.m.
I hurried to my cab and sat near the window. Everyone in the cab was tired after the day’s long schedule. So, there was silence in the cab throughout the journey, say 1.5 hours. I relaxed and sat recollecting the day’s happenings. I realized, my mind was occupied with confusions, anxiety, problems. I just existed…never lived my life, I had spent all my today’s, worrying about my tomorrows.. I was sucked into the marsh of my routine life. Every day, I forgot to enjoy simple pleasures of life while I ran the rat race .Self evaluation and self realizations were the two best things I did that day. It gave me lot of confidence and hope. Then I put aside my laptop,i.d and looked through the window, chill breeze swept my face and immediately my hands went to shut the window, for, I feared to fall sick (the very next day I had to go to office to submit the document, i could not afford a SL).. The real me had always enjoyed the window seat, the chill breeze, view of passing by vehicles.. from my child hood.. I hide few thing because, I get scared to be tagged as maverick & also self imposed resctriction @work. This time, I decided not to let the child in me die. I opened the windows, switched on my Mp3 player, and listened to our all time best tamil music Imagine!, listening to pachai kiligal tholodu song from Indian , windows opened, chill breeze striking you, darkness everywhere, cars zooming past…..The real bliss of solitude. Isn’t it? Righteous Solitude is a pinnacle, the right time to discover oneself.
Like a saying goes” Be able to be alone. Lose not the advantage of solitude, and the society of thyself.”

Every day, smiling at the early morning ,
I wake up with emotions and wishes really new,
Sometimes, life shows me a road so clear,
That’s when I forget to notice even my near&dear,
I just jump into my track with a high spirits
the days, when I emerge “a champ ”,
I never ask why ME?
I concur with those praising god and join them.
But
Sometimes, it’s when life takes me for a ride,
I find it difficult to keep up my balance.
It’s when everything around me goes wrong,
I take notice of people running with me.
It’s when I want to smile but have to sigh,
I look around for someone, to lift my spirits.
when success gets delayed,
I yell at the god I prayed.
I realize life is not a race to be won,
It is a journey, filled with surprises and suspense’s,
If I look at life with a serious face,,
I life mirrors me a frown.
As I unfold each moment with a smile,
Life fills my moments with gold all the way...
I rejoice whatever is on my way today,
It gives me courage to face another day.
Life is a cycle, winners lose and losers win!
If not today, my chance to win will come soon…

The Resolution!

At the dawn of a brand new beginning, if some amendment in our ethics can show us a brighter path and a very happy journey ahead, definitely beginning of a new year is the right time to take a good resolution….Ah, cool! This is to justify the one I took!
Being an easygoing person, I had always enjoyed the last minute dash, be it a party, office, get together, meetings, everywhere.
I was working with a corporate company in Bangalore. I had to take my cab to office at 8 am sharp .The bus stop was at walk able distance from my hostel, say 5mins. But I always started late. So I used to run all the way (with a lap top heavier than me), scream, and somehow bring the cab to halt and board it. One day, I stepped out of hostel only by 8 a.m. So I called a fellow cab mate, who boarded the same cab in previous stop of mine and asked him to stop the cab for me. He did! From next day, that call was included in my routine irrespective of the time i start. In short, i gave him a cab-holding duty, since then, i called him to stop the cab for me, the moment i stepped out of the hostel. Once,For a change he replied” I will. But for that I have to reach my stop first! See the time, its only 7.45 a.m.”. He sounded bit harsh,i know who would not! but I ignored and walked my way to stop. When I reached half the way, I realized I forgot my id card. So ran back to hostel. By the time I came out of hostel it was 8 a.m. guess what!!? I called him (again) to stop the cab for me,1 st time itself he sounded harsh,this time he got confused..his mind voice would have abused me and asked him to change the route. That followed serious stares every time I met him in office.Enough, My manam rosham etc's finally showed up from their hiding place and I decided to be self dependent. I immediately adjusted my mobile time to 10 mins ahead of Indian standard time, following a traditional practice applied by  people who like to speed up the process.
Being a chennaitee, I visited Chennai that week end. After the Chennai visit, I returned to my hostel around 5.30 a.m., set alarm in my mobile and slept. The alarm rang and my mobile showed 7.30 a.m. Even though it was late, unusually, I was at my best, got ready soon!! I had 10mins for my cab. I slowly walked down the street with the jerkin on. I enjoyed the Exotic Bangalore weather, early morning fresh air. It was nice to see early risers’ fitness exercise and laughter therapies in the park nearby. I admired the old couples who jogged together and the small kids who bade good bye to their working mom. It was a wonderful walk. The sightless bard’s insight came up in my delight. I felt bad that I had missed nature’s visual treat because of my laziness. Hence I took a vow not to continue my “jab we met” style, to board the cab. I was embarrassed about my routine. I realized how many people were entertained by my morning nonsense,& laughed at me when I ran down the street, to take my cab.
I had reached my stop at ease, in spite of the relaxed morning stroll. I looked into my mobile, it showed 8.05 a.m. According to my adjusted mobile time,my cab had to come at 8.10 am to the stop. My overnight-time-sense confidence did not allow me to call my friend to find out about the cab.. even when my mobile showed 8.20 a.m. But, the doubtful me grew anxious when it was 8.35 am and called The SAME friend to enquire about the cab. The voice on the other side “what yar,? Usually you will call at 8.00a.m. to stop the cab, today you have reached stop half hour late and calling me to stop! The cab is almost near office.. it will automatically stop in the office. i don't have to do that job...giggle..giggle.”
I looked at my mobile it showed 8.35, very confusing...!The cab had come at the usual time to the stop and had almost reached office by then. The news was a real thunderbolt.Only then it stuck to me that someone Had changed/corrected my mobile time, back home . Without knowing that, I had calculated the timing with respect to the change I made the previous day and reached the stop 5 minutes late. The fact that made my ticker still weak was that, had I ran down the streets screaming for the cab to stop, my-regular-jab-we met shtyle, I would have taken the cab.
I decided to walk the way back to hostel. The walk to hostel was fraught with difficulty, tears ran down. From then slowly I try to improve my time sense. And at the beginning of this New Year, I have taken a vow to be on time for everything.
Wishing you all a very happy new year!

priceless lessons...

In a primary school sports day, they had their first event “balloon Game”. Each child had balloons tied to their ankle with string, and hands tied at their back. The object of the game was to burst other kid's balloons by whatever means possible, but they had to keep their own balloon from popping at the same time. The winner was the last child with maximum inflated balloons.
The game went like this,
Kids were tied with balloons, the whistle was blown. The kids pinched, stomped, squashed, ran, fought, jumped and enjoyed the blast! The game was about to end .PT Master walked his way to middle of the ground to declare the winner, the child who still was left with two inflated balloons.
Suddenly one cute kid, who stood next to the master all the while, ran inside the ground. Before everyone realized what happened, he busted the winner's (one who survived all the attacks for about 5 min) balloon. Every one stood suprised rather shocked.PT Master questioned the kid why he stood aloof all the while; he replied innocently that he never understood the instructions and so moved to a corner from where he watched everyone burst each other’s balloons. At the end when he caught sight of a guy with inflated balloons still tied at the back, he just sprang bursted it.
He was declared as Winner! All the other kids congratulated him.
Neither they formed a team and called for a strike nor did they walk out for the injustice. Instead they cheered up the winner. There was no commotion, no crying. The moment the winner was declared, the game ended for them. Every one moved on to the next game. All of them kept their zest going till the end and enjoyed rest of games throughout the day.
Looking back today, on all the joy and laughter our childhood has given us, we would often want to return to those good old days. Pinned with treasured memories everyone loves to reminisce about their childhood often. It still lingers in our thoughts, maybe because of the innocence or that we never knew to brood at that age or that we had lot of friends (I mean every person we met was our friend, there were no selection criteria because we had no expectations about our friends.) Even if we were rivals one day, we became friends the other, very easily.
One to walk and two to talk,
At that age we had friends at every door knock!
As we grow up, we see lot of smiles,
Some walk with us few miles,
Many hands we shake but very few are our friends.
We try to put lot of effort to understand the history and geography of every happening and expect too much out of other person. Analyzing the past brings lot of ill feelings, negative thoughts, wrong perceptions and jealousy. Relationship goes on… as we keep our cool and if we learn to forgive and forget.
“Alone I smile, together we laugh,
…. Alone I live, together we celebrate
That’s the magic of WE”.

Union of hearts…
I liked Chetan’s synopsis about his recent story, 2 States. It read, love marriages around world are simple, but in India it has few more steps. True.
Then imagine an arranged marriage:
Girl’s family should like the boy’s family. Vice versa.
Girl and guy’s horoscope should match.
Girl and guy should like each other’s photo.
Both the sides will have to clear operation “family background check”.
Then comes grand finale, boy meets the Girl. If they like each other, the wedding bells ring...
After all this if you get a considerate partner, then god indubitably likes you. Because having a wonderful partner in life means a lot!
Ours was an arranged marriage, slightly different. After step 3, both parents let us speak and decide. Lucky Ah!. Since we were in different countries, we talked only twice. With few basic questions, we found our frequency matched to some extent and decided to get married. We met only after our marriage got fixed.
Our lifestyle, our society, habits, everything was different. I had dreams about my post engagement-pre marital life (totally influenced by my society), like.. “To be pampered with lot of gifts, sweet nothings over the phone till late night, hanging out whenever possible”……believe me I had a catalog!
He, an abstemious, realistic and a prompt person. No late night talks, rare outings…God! Needn’t mention, why we fought till our marriage day.
With stars in our eyes, faith in our hearts, and dreams in our minds we started our journey of togetherness.
Marital Bliss!
Our world is just two of us, to rely on, confide in, laugh at, and cry for. I talk talk and talk (poor him). He listens uncomplainingly. We chill out, shop, play and do everything possible together. Love is not” two different people seeing the same world together”. It is “two different people enjoying two different worlds, together”. Love happens when we learn to enjoy the differences! Rejoice!