Emotions recollected in tranquility!!!!!!

After lunch, I sat comfortably on my chair, and stared into the latest comments list wrt the document I had sent. The mail put a comma to my “one week struggle”. Time zoomed past, as I tried to figure the rectification methods. It was 6 pm and people were leaving for evening snacks.
My team members some how never created the feeling of working beyond office hours in me... I def take pride in telling this,.because they hardly go home. In fact if someone around my cubicle called it a day at 6 p.m, it meant he was on permission that day!
me…Man it was a tough day. I too wanted a break, break time is never been a lone one...i pinged my friend and we hurried to stuff our tummy and like other days we were fastest to return from break (rarely we have 20min long break ). We literally swallowed the samosa’s, sharing with each other the warm reception our design documents had recieved .That has always been so much fun,atleast it has helped us to take it easily...trust me we really enjoy the break time mainly because of this..finally returned to the scariest place in office,(my desk).like a brave soldier.., picked up the specs, took a deep breath and got ready… ya what else, just to look @ my mail box for more IMPORTANT, URGENT mails, cc ‘ed to almost all top level management people. Especially when it comes to mails pointing out my errors, i always had a gut feeling that BCC columns were also filled.I have to agree these escalations became routien...somehow with help of my fellow intellectuals(my team members were ), I came to a conclusion about the design document and called it a day around 8.30 p.m.
I hurried to my cab and sat near the window. Everyone in the cab was tired after the day’s long schedule. So, there was silence in the cab throughout the journey, say 1.5 hours. I relaxed and sat recollecting the day’s happenings. I realized, my mind was occupied with confusions, anxiety, problems. I just existed…never lived my life, I had spent all my today’s, worrying about my tomorrows.. I was sucked into the marsh of my routine life. Every day, I forgot to enjoy simple pleasures of life while I ran the rat race .Self evaluation and self realizations were the two best things I did that day. It gave me lot of confidence and hope. Then I put aside my laptop,i.d and looked through the window, chill breeze swept my face and immediately my hands went to shut the window, for, I feared to fall sick (the very next day I had to go to office to submit the document, i could not afford a SL).. The real me had always enjoyed the window seat, the chill breeze, view of passing by vehicles.. from my child hood.. I hide few thing because, I get scared to be tagged as maverick & also self imposed resctriction @work. This time, I decided not to let the child in me die. I opened the windows, switched on my Mp3 player, and listened to our all time best tamil music Imagine!, listening to pachai kiligal tholodu song from Indian , windows opened, chill breeze striking you, darkness everywhere, cars zooming past…..The real bliss of solitude. Isn’t it? Righteous Solitude is a pinnacle, the right time to discover oneself.
Like a saying goes” Be able to be alone. Lose not the advantage of solitude, and the society of thyself.”

Every day, smiling at the early morning ,
I wake up with emotions and wishes really new,
Sometimes, life shows me a road so clear,
That’s when I forget to notice even my near&dear,
I just jump into my track with a high spirits
the days, when I emerge “a champ ”,
I never ask why ME?
I concur with those praising god and join them.
But
Sometimes, it’s when life takes me for a ride,
I find it difficult to keep up my balance.
It’s when everything around me goes wrong,
I take notice of people running with me.
It’s when I want to smile but have to sigh,
I look around for someone, to lift my spirits.
when success gets delayed,
I yell at the god I prayed.
I realize life is not a race to be won,
It is a journey, filled with surprises and suspense’s,
If I look at life with a serious face,,
I life mirrors me a frown.
As I unfold each moment with a smile,
Life fills my moments with gold all the way...
I rejoice whatever is on my way today,
It gives me courage to face another day.
Life is a cycle, winners lose and losers win!
If not today, my chance to win will come soon…

The Resolution!

At the dawn of a brand new beginning, if some amendment in our ethics can show us a brighter path and a very happy journey ahead, definitely beginning of a new year is the right time to take a good resolution….Ah, cool! This is to justify the one I took!
Being an easygoing person, I had always enjoyed the last minute dash, be it a party, office, get together, meetings, everywhere.
I was working with a corporate company in Bangalore. I had to take my cab to office at 8 am sharp .The bus stop was at walk able distance from my hostel, say 5mins. But I always started late. So I used to run all the way (with a lap top heavier than me), scream, and somehow bring the cab to halt and board it. One day, I stepped out of hostel only by 8 a.m. So I called a fellow cab mate, who boarded the same cab in previous stop of mine and asked him to stop the cab for me. He did! From next day, that call was included in my routine irrespective of the time i start. In short, i gave him a cab-holding duty, since then, i called him to stop the cab for me, the moment i stepped out of the hostel. Once,For a change he replied” I will. But for that I have to reach my stop first! See the time, its only 7.45 a.m.”. He sounded bit harsh,i know who would not! but I ignored and walked my way to stop. When I reached half the way, I realized I forgot my id card. So ran back to hostel. By the time I came out of hostel it was 8 a.m. guess what!!? I called him (again) to stop the cab for me,1 st time itself he sounded harsh,this time he got confused..his mind voice would have abused me and asked him to change the route. That followed serious stares every time I met him in office.Enough, My manam rosham etc's finally showed up from their hiding place and I decided to be self dependent. I immediately adjusted my mobile time to 10 mins ahead of Indian standard time, following a traditional practice applied by  people who like to speed up the process.
Being a chennaitee, I visited Chennai that week end. After the Chennai visit, I returned to my hostel around 5.30 a.m., set alarm in my mobile and slept. The alarm rang and my mobile showed 7.30 a.m. Even though it was late, unusually, I was at my best, got ready soon!! I had 10mins for my cab. I slowly walked down the street with the jerkin on. I enjoyed the Exotic Bangalore weather, early morning fresh air. It was nice to see early risers’ fitness exercise and laughter therapies in the park nearby. I admired the old couples who jogged together and the small kids who bade good bye to their working mom. It was a wonderful walk. The sightless bard’s insight came up in my delight. I felt bad that I had missed nature’s visual treat because of my laziness. Hence I took a vow not to continue my “jab we met” style, to board the cab. I was embarrassed about my routine. I realized how many people were entertained by my morning nonsense,& laughed at me when I ran down the street, to take my cab.
I had reached my stop at ease, in spite of the relaxed morning stroll. I looked into my mobile, it showed 8.05 a.m. According to my adjusted mobile time,my cab had to come at 8.10 am to the stop. My overnight-time-sense confidence did not allow me to call my friend to find out about the cab.. even when my mobile showed 8.20 a.m. But, the doubtful me grew anxious when it was 8.35 am and called The SAME friend to enquire about the cab. The voice on the other side “what yar,? Usually you will call at 8.00a.m. to stop the cab, today you have reached stop half hour late and calling me to stop! The cab is almost near office.. it will automatically stop in the office. i don't have to do that job...giggle..giggle.”
I looked at my mobile it showed 8.35, very confusing...!The cab had come at the usual time to the stop and had almost reached office by then. The news was a real thunderbolt.Only then it stuck to me that someone Had changed/corrected my mobile time, back home . Without knowing that, I had calculated the timing with respect to the change I made the previous day and reached the stop 5 minutes late. The fact that made my ticker still weak was that, had I ran down the streets screaming for the cab to stop, my-regular-jab-we met shtyle, I would have taken the cab.
I decided to walk the way back to hostel. The walk to hostel was fraught with difficulty, tears ran down. From then slowly I try to improve my time sense. And at the beginning of this New Year, I have taken a vow to be on time for everything.
Wishing you all a very happy new year!