Facebook status um 200 likesum..

Disclaimer: This is just a fun post. Details mentioned are result of mentally mystified random rumblings. The concept is inspired from a famous tamil movie. This has no connection with any of the face book status of ppl, in my friend list. So pls do not unfriend me!!!!

Intha  9 rules follow panna FB la like kottum bass!(Follow these 9 rulez and you are getting there)!

1.  1.     The most important rule, after posting a status or picture, keep refreshing the page every nano second and be very attentive. Drop reply for all the comments and like even the mokkaiest comment. In this game encouragement is very important. This task can be more tiresome than babysitting. But do not give up.

2.   2.    As this task requires concentration and dedication, hence please avoid drinking any liquid or having any solid food after posting a status or photo shopped picture. Yes, susu/ potty breaks are distractions which you cannot afford.

3.   3.    Add as many as possible friends to your friend list. They can be friend of friend, Have-never-seen-since birth relatives, spouse of friend, who gave you a no-other-option smile during your friend’s reception/wedding,met-while-waiting at hospital-during dengue fever- friends, friends of sibilings, sibilings of friends,etc. After all this if your friend list isn't crossing the pass mark 1000, please do not worry. Mark Zuckerberg will suggest you.

4.  4.     Whenever you see a lamo”ished”, sepia ied, HDRish image of your friend list member , that moment when your rational, logical conscience and mind fumes that "the picture seems uncanny, not having an iota of resemblance to the living/existing friend- member of your list", please extinguish it with ice bucket challenge and drop a “very nice” comment or at least caress the like button.Remember! "like" is boomerang.

5. 5..    Same holds good on really stupid status/currently-this-crap-is on my mind posts on the feed list. Even though your eyes hunt for a dislike button, don’t give in. Foreseeing unwanted conflicts, Mark Zuckerberg has clearly avoided that provision. So please keep sanity and repeat the previous step.

6.6..      If your status does not get any likes , do not back off.. Add a picture with the most famous member of your friend list or simply tag them and put a goody smiley. Start spamming your own post by bringing some HOT topics. Focus! I meant “some heated” discussions, chuddy buddy fights, ne-kolanthaya irunthapa-ithuthaan kuduthen memories.

7. 7..      Have a Happy birthday-with 100mm smiley,..Copied in your clipboard. Please follow mark zuckerberg’s instructions & post on the directed wall accordingly. Don’t look down at your conscience, your not the first. This is general FB ritual. People  hardly know the recipient’s name & least the date, while posting Happy birthday. But this should not deter you from posting a thank you when you receive such automated-happy birthday. 

8.  8..     Please be productive on weekends by joining photoshop and how-to-make-a selfie-look unrecognizable -by self acrobat classes .Then take vacations to farien locations, and pose in front of snow.

9.  9..     Some gloomy day when you login to FB for diversion, while waiting for your hopeless -exam results and if you get to see “aatha naa pass agiten” or at-chennai-international airport-off to ANTARTICA university, or got admitted in czsiferalo-university-in Helsinki university status posts, inhale cool air -  exhale hot air and hit a like! replay the dialogue "Like is boomerang". But, do not forget to Read and reread You can win by shiv kera , Deepak chopra motivational books after that.

My Banglore chronicles will continue soon....

HAPPY DAYS!!!

PG Chronicles Part-1

PG Chronicles Part-1

Boarded Bangalore mail, there I go, Chennai to Bangalore... accompanied by my father. I was prepared for the ride! Was excited to wake up WITHOUT early morning HIGH pitched “if you-sleep-like this after marriage-you’ll be kicked out by future in-laws” yelling’s,    ” when the hell - will you learn to -do your own work”-murderous one liners and many more heated daily dose of how -to behave- yourself lectures. But not to deny, a lone, big fat tear did peep out when my father bade me bye..Ahh I never knew I would miss my home!

We Reached Bangalore. I stepped inside the pg with indefinable excitement to live an independent life..I had few butterflies inside my tummy, when I had boarded the train, which I ignored to be acidity problem.  But after shifting inside pg, the fear of finding good friends, sharing room, maintaining patience, some feeling-sorry fear sunk..and There I go; the butterflies were replaced by eagles and ostriches inside my stomach in no time. History and geography of my past were enough to declare me a competent contestant for 24x7 Nonstop Talk show. But anxiety was about finding people who enjoyed talking and listening, the same way.

When it comes to talking, I talk so much, that..,whenever i am forced to give short non-commercial break to my audience, I unconsciously hand over the baton to mind voice.which continues mumbling... to be precised, I can talk-talk-talk and bore the hell out of anyone,  except “Good morning mam-we are calling from XXXXX bank-we offer free PLATINUM credit cards..”. Trust me they are the only people with whom I have shortest conversations, to them, I fail!

OK! During the dinner time, I met the gang..., after hi-hello pleasantries; we indulged straight into the mission of random talking. I found few incredibly talented co contestants, for the first time in life! YES... Then the national geographic channel in my stomach turned off automatically. We normally had small chat sessions daily, while having the not-at all-edible dinner at pg (Whenever I saw or tasted the PG food, my MOM appeared in the mind bubble and winked at me “KARMA pays akila, KARMA RETURNS,”).  Our daily discussions were about the useful piece of information we read in PAGE 3 columns, be it sympathising the 5 year old who fainted, seeing -without-make-up Priyanka chopra in her dreams, maintaining count of number of times the xxx guy  peeped into scarcely clinging dress of malaika in the dance show, Some strong neya nana sessions on “why did Jackie sheroff name his son “TIGER sheroff”? , celebrity Kismat cross connection and art of living conversations like how to maintain right BMI , by continuing OUR diet chart  which included, cheese pav baaji, panipoori , ghee dosa, 14 idlys, and more such “dietary delicacies”.

Sometimes, the repetitive/tiresome telephonic moral science classes by  parents on late night office returns,  co-operate for marriage campaigns, avoid-late night dinner treats will be converted to rom-coms. In fact, I never knew my virtually-erased with Camlin rubber- STRICT college days can turn out to be daily dose of laugh to many people. Some days we have had constructive conversations, very useful for life, like “how to-choose the best picture-from the batch of matrimonial photos -sent by parents”, benefits of honey, methods of wooing, the laws of attractions and repulsions, etc...Generally such life -skill –sharing chat topics were based on the need for the advices, and recipient’s skill levels

I wanna grow up once again!

Whenever I see celebrities, famous personalities with age 22, 24, 25. ok any number <  30  the Bride/groom "candid wedding portraits” of my juniors, sub juniors, sub sub.. Juniors, audio “Ur getting OLD, you are growing old...” echoes in the foreground. I definitely know my age, year of birth and even positions of planets in my horoscope by heart! Still, face book strikes a chord every time I sign in! There is a saying “the older I get, the more I want to go back to child hood!”

Child hood was fun! Right from hiding the report card and praying, sorry.. Literally begging Lord Rama to do the honor of putting my father’s signature in it. Trust me i have written many “Sri Ramajayam’s” for such miracles to happen. Enacting the “fake fever “ syndrome , as if I was almost in the highway to death, till the sympathy part of the family members completely  drains out, and they kick my ass out of the bed, to school. Special credits to my CBI Sibling, who was my Guru , in this mission. We managed to enact the drama once in a month. In fact, we were so realistic that, my mom feels very  proud  we both have overcome our fear for “ fever “ after growing up, as we don’t crib now-a-days.

I grew up in an extended family, where the living room was filled with minimum 5-6 people during the evenings. That was indeed my after-school, after-tuition- continuation of gossip- over the phone timings. The after school timing was fully utilized for planning and talking about who-hit-on-whom, who teased whom, how to enjoy weekends,  where to plan our next group gossip sessions, how to avoid class tests, etc...In short nothing useful, according to the living-room- assembly!. These sessions are the major shareholders of “My school memories”, than to entamoeba histolyticas, differential calculus, or organic chemistry...

 My family members have never asked me details about my phone calls, but every time after handing over the phone to me, they “UN-intentionally” take closest spot to the phone, and “very normally” gape the things in front of them, deeply inspecting about make, rigidity and robust ability, “Very unconsciously”  maintaining pin drop silence. Inadvertently after my phone call every one ends their inspection, and walks out to prepare their respective reports “very casually”. I am no less, not sure if I mastered integral calculus or probability in my teenage, but definitely mastered the art of  whisper-in-the –phone, being audible only to the caller on the other end, and make sure audience decipher nothing.  Still, the family assembly session never got adjourned till I completed my school.

 As I grew up my CBI Sibling too grew up. His main job was to observe me, my routine,  he had a track of all my friends, my daily schedules..everything. HE seized every opportunity to complain about me to my parents with PROOFS!Once, I brought my college friends, home. After our closed room, round table discussion of college crap, we decided to go for a walk. My left out, CBI sibling wanted me to buy him a cream bun and I refused. He revenged, by spitting out all my cinematic gossips, and rants about “that” college friend to my mom (definitely there was nothing good about her, at least to be brought out on her face)..

I was shocked, with jaws opened... my brain stopped working and screamed Kams!, vanish, escape, evaporate, melt right now!!!. Aladdin genie did not come for my rescue, and neither something like movies happened; I tried to be calm and behave normally! Cut the Crap, the wall in front of me mirrored my “over” expressive disastrous face, call it anger, embarrassment, confusion, shock, irritation,the major contribution for such a facial disaster was not his spat ,but fact that he did THE DAMAGE for what, JUST FOR A CREAM BUN!!!. Somehow chided him convinced her and then, saw a wired expression in her face, and a faint smile. My Mind voice screamed “Target convinced, Target confused- , leave before Target gets the shit out of this!!!!!!!!I stormed out with my friends....

After returning, I persuaded my parents to give him out for adoption. I tried convincing them he was not their baby and probably got exchanged in hospital, which was unsuccessful like the previous infinity times. ..

Life got better when i got a job.My bro had become a teenager then.. I snatched his role, i took full advantage of it. Tracking his calls, overhearing his conversations, stalking his account during his absence,  and appended few more responsibilities, like monitoring-his evening chaat shop expenditures, duly pointing it during the dinner assembly, convincing, my parents i spend less(literally nagging them to accept)..etc so i  became self appointed C-CID chief, in fact, holding the position even now! . I enjoyed the salaried life, with peek a while match-making interruptions by my mom.

Moving to Bangalore was the best decision. Enjoyment of freedom, the gals gang, outings, chatting sessions about “useful topics for life”, shopping, etc. Life was so cool, except for routine phone call from my “soon-should- get-daughter married” mom. The Bangalore days deserve a blog....

Read this somewhere!

Feel your childhood
I want 2 go back to d time wen "Innocence"was "Natural",
.
wen "Getting high" meant "On a swing",
.
wen "Drinking" meant "coke",
.
wen "Dad" was d only "Hero",
.
wen "Love" was "Mom's hug",
.
wen "Dad's shoulder" was d "The highest place on earth",,
.
wen d only thing Tht cud
.
"Hurt" wer "Bleeding knees",
.
wen d only things "Broken" wer "Toys",

n wen "Goodbyes" only meant "Till 2moro".
Life has changed a lot..

- Unknown

Being funny!!!!!

There are people with, “in born sense of humour”.....i personally feel, its lot more fun to hang around with such people. Many times i had been a source of fun, to people who were very close to me, unintentionally...comme on, no one likes to get embarrassed to make others laugh...Me too !!!It all started from my first job....where no-one-liked-my –boss, but she- liked- me -so much... Once there was an executive client meeting, to which all our bosses were invited and we in turn had a happy work day! (we were GET’s)......suddenly i was invited to join the meeting. Few, gave me instructions on what to talk, how-to-manage-if-my-boss-blames me for all mistakes, while few congratulated... I went to the meeting room, looked out for MY BOSS,others were too busy to take notice of a new entry...there, she was with full smile...i sat next to her (with Heavy invited-to -sign-a huge deal FEEL!)as she introduced me to the clients, . Gradually, she asked me to fetch a A4 sheet, next a correction pen, then a print out...,a Xerox, Tea, stapler, etcs .. i think you got it!, I agree, even the rest of the days i did similar things, but THAT was my first of its kind.. Experience in front of clients,also with the clients ..In that very evening, she asked me to fetch a Photostat of an old contract sheet, for some important discussion..I got back to the desk, found it as ragged paper, hardly legible after a very hard search. Obediently..,I requested the copy boy for a Xerox. He started the process...but the paper got stuck in the machine...(don’t know if it had happened to anyone else...).when he tried to remove it, the paper tore off. Needless to explain my embarrassment back there..Next day every one gathered at my place to enquire about my previous-day-client discussions .It happens! I too have goofed up with her (my-boss) many times ...Once i took off, irritated with her everyday Hitler effect. I smsed her that I was really sick. Sometime later, in a reply to a message from a friend I typed ”ya I bluffed her I’m sick but I’m hale and healthy ..etc(some scolding’s too).” and sent it wrongly to her number,people who know me will def know that I’m really good at sending wrong texts, typo errors..., by then she had announced it to entire department....and people called me just to laugh at my nonsense! this boss-me-relationship has been a source of entertainment to many at our office...

holidayyyssss!!!!!!!!!!!

Holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!home coming is always fun...
Once, All of us ( chennaites) from my team had planned to come to Chennai, for Pongal holidays. I had booked my tickets to Chennai in mysore express,inspite of that month's workload. The day before my travel, all my team mates ran around in full Khushi, greeting each other…ONLY My situation was very uncertain, blame it on weekly workload..(unlucky as always).
That day, It seemed like vacations began for everyone else, and I was LEFT with one more exam!!!! ...I dint receive many RED alert mails, thanks to holiday in FLORENCE. I totally utilized the opportunity and struggled with my workload , entire day, even without coffee breaks and completed almost 85% of it. …..still, that would not save me from having tough next working day ... just that,URGENT REQUIREMENT mails were on the way.…,ok..coming to point..like law of diminishing returns so were my hopes about my holidays…:-@I was Jealous..Angry…and of course was in verge of opening my eye-water tank to the next person .
And there she came, “Today everything will seem cool, tomorrow, everything will take a 180 deg turn and stop at your desk. U...better, go, tell the manager that, you are leaving tomorrow morning itself and stay back at hostel to board night train. Otherwise all of a sudden pressure will mount, and you’ll will be forced to stay back. We are all leaving tomorrow afternoon,(before florence off starts functioning), if you don’t want to stay alone, better listen”.
That was it.:-)oru jhansi rani feel,.. With all anger, anxiety, and little hopes, and went straight to my manager, told him I was leaving the next morning...etcs.... He analyzed all my deliverables, suggested me to delegate my workload to people who were available, casually asked me why I dint join the gang which was supposed to leave by next noon .., and greeted me happy holidays with a big smile, making my planned Lie task easy and very simple.Right at his desk, i mentally had landed in chennai, such an unexpected excitement. I reached my PG gigling all the way to happiness. Called and shared the good news with mom immediately.
then,I got a call from my team mate (who gave me this idea).
she enquired if i had executed the plan correctly..”
i was prepared for her appreciation on my bravery. ..
but there was a huge pause
i sensed something was in store for me...but never expected my manager to dittoo my holiday plans ..with different coach, S10(mine being s12)...the shock kept me awake all night, all possible negative sequences flashed in front of me..getting caught red handed,sothapifying more than project, then at office he will give me liar liar look all the time..Transformer burst’d inside…!!!!...in-between horror scenes the filmy me was also awake.
Mannan Padam.. Madri ,”Nanavathu …unga kitta sollitu vanden.., neenga enkitta itha pathi oru vartha kooda sollave illaye…)
So what…! kno? NOOOo...it did matter to me. Next morning, full upset, in fact upset square..!. I really had no courage to go to the station that night to board my train. But then, had to. So, Went to the station with jerkin, kerchief (Covering my face)., scarf…fully wrapped, heavy - theevaravadhi effect…and tensed as during the sem results!. Train was delayed by half hour...so i spent the entire time planning how to get in nd get down without being spotted . .Train reached chennai....yes,I dint get out of my berth,,,till the cleaners came and said train was leaving to shed...(if caught, i suck at dealing with it)
Good god,After all the drama I reached Chennai happily.
Return journey was even more interesting. IRCTC ticket booking ...bangalore.. Trust me it is difficult! If you are an early bird you will be rewarded with any seat from 1-8. u get me???? “Toilet view berth”..Railways had always rewarded me with one more comfort; mostly I had travelled in S12 coach (next to engine).
Annoyed with all the vacation confusions, I cursed my fate sitting alone….I saw my friends (who had to get down at KR..Puram). I lamented about my berth, the stench, engine horn, to them…
His was more complicated...He had recieved side middle berth...He joked that he had to plan ways and means to get into the berth from the time he stepped out of his house...,for getting out of the berth process...yes,he kept alarm 15 min before train halted at his station to execute process of getting out! man i saw and pitied him( i was also awarded similar one, so could'nt offer an exchange). And after all that, the compartment halted 1 KM away frm the platform @KR puram, and they had to jump and walk their way in the Bitter cold(3.15 a.m)..
Really sad! I wonder how our railways come up with such Ideas? .No wonder he lamented more than me...
In spite of such excellent adventures coming to chennai has always been very exciting!Catch ya later…

Small things...

5.2” tall and 42 kgs…it’s ME.
Whenever someone calls me, the first question will be”Have you gained some weight?” No , Never….till date, I am the same small gal.
I had joined work then. My brother was at his 10th class. Mom asked me (rather bugged) to go a X school and enquire about 11th class admissions. There i go.... some exams were on ,which put me to wait outside. After the exams, I went to the administration department. There I saw a staff and enquired about the admission forms. He turned, adjusted his glasses and gave me a stern look, Typical strict teacher look,( I in turn gave scared & pavam look) and he screamed at me of course very harshly “First go and concentrate on your 10th exams. After that come for 11th admissions”. Man! I was so angry, and no i did not explain about my working status...instead ran back home with tears...and yelled at my mom.... She started her drama with her usual screen play ” if you are so small how will you get married…?i don’t know when you’ll put on weight… ETC…”.
Like Vodafone network, wherever I go this SMALL issue follows. The story continues….when I had been to my relatives (whom I had never seen before!) wedding with mom,some of them were so nice to me till One old lady asked me few compulsary questions these aged people ask in every family function… esp in weddings ”tell me who am I to you?” ( family ragging!!!). I gave her a close up grin and nodded yes and no, both ways. She immediately turned to her gang and said, “Its long time since I saw her. Now that she is grown up I am not able to recognize”.
But it dint end there. She pointed at her friend and asked me if I knew that friend. I replied “no”. Then she again said “You would have seen us when you were small. Now that you have grown up so much you don’t remember”. First, I confirmed she dint mock at me.My heart broke into pieces, as they repeated GROWN up thing everytime. I suppose …last time I grew was around 7th or 8th class. And at the function i was a working WOMAN. These aged people somehow find target for their time pass in such big occasions,... But things were better since she told ME. Had she told my mom, then senti scene retake….After that incident I stopped attending marriage functions.
But, yes as u guessed, I had to attend mine…and this small network ka problem followed me even there. In my own marriage, we (my family and few close relatives) went the day before all others came. While having dinner, I sat in a corner, with mehendi in my hands. The caterer came and enquired everyone about the food taste,service etc... He completed his duty by asking my mom (sitting next to me) “shall we send the dinner for your daughter to her room”. My mom (100%confused,im her only daughter:-@) looked at me and asked him “why?”. He- “It’s very late and she has not had her dinner till now. If she is busy, we’ll send it to her room.” For the first time ( probably since she successfully found a guy who loved her daughter the way she looked) i saw my mom replying to such a question with a broad smile,“this is my daughter. She is the bride”. He casually replied “sorry, I thought it was bride’s sister.....”…
People who attend marriages make thier maximum contribution before exiting... they did in mine too..they did leave a note to my husband at the marriage hall, "every girl will put on weight after marriage because of happiness, we will see her after a year and will get know how you treat her..". /my mom was so relieved to have transferred her burden to him, happily, with a grand celebration…
Small story did continue .... Once, my husband and I went to a famous temple. While we prayed, the priest shouted at my husband “Sir, please move”, before i followed my husband he screamed “papa Move!” ...I know!now i gave him smiley look…, my husband gave him a Killer look! He came out and told me “I have decided to starve and become thin as you, reverse doesnt happen "!
Women feel happy when someone tells her she looks younger than her age…So am I !
However we are, Happiness lies in the way we carry our self!
Happy women’s day!!!!

Emotions recollected in tranquility!!!!!!

After lunch, I sat comfortably on my chair, and stared into the latest comments list wrt the document I had sent. The mail put a comma to my “one week struggle”. Time zoomed past, as I tried to figure the rectification methods. It was 6 pm and people were leaving for evening snacks.
My team members some how never created the feeling of working beyond office hours in me... I def take pride in telling this,.because they hardly go home. In fact if someone around my cubicle called it a day at 6 p.m, it meant he was on permission that day!
me…Man it was a tough day. I too wanted a break, break time is never been a lone one...i pinged my friend and we hurried to stuff our tummy and like other days we were fastest to return from break (rarely we have 20min long break ). We literally swallowed the samosa’s, sharing with each other the warm reception our design documents had recieved .That has always been so much fun,atleast it has helped us to take it easily...trust me we really enjoy the break time mainly because of this..finally returned to the scariest place in office,(my desk).like a brave soldier.., picked up the specs, took a deep breath and got ready… ya what else, just to look @ my mail box for more IMPORTANT, URGENT mails, cc ‘ed to almost all top level management people. Especially when it comes to mails pointing out my errors, i always had a gut feeling that BCC columns were also filled.I have to agree these escalations became routien...somehow with help of my fellow intellectuals(my team members were ), I came to a conclusion about the design document and called it a day around 8.30 p.m.
I hurried to my cab and sat near the window. Everyone in the cab was tired after the day’s long schedule. So, there was silence in the cab throughout the journey, say 1.5 hours. I relaxed and sat recollecting the day’s happenings. I realized, my mind was occupied with confusions, anxiety, problems. I just existed…never lived my life, I had spent all my today’s, worrying about my tomorrows.. I was sucked into the marsh of my routine life. Every day, I forgot to enjoy simple pleasures of life while I ran the rat race .Self evaluation and self realizations were the two best things I did that day. It gave me lot of confidence and hope. Then I put aside my laptop,i.d and looked through the window, chill breeze swept my face and immediately my hands went to shut the window, for, I feared to fall sick (the very next day I had to go to office to submit the document, i could not afford a SL).. The real me had always enjoyed the window seat, the chill breeze, view of passing by vehicles.. from my child hood.. I hide few thing because, I get scared to be tagged as maverick & also self imposed resctriction @work. This time, I decided not to let the child in me die. I opened the windows, switched on my Mp3 player, and listened to our all time best tamil music Imagine!, listening to pachai kiligal tholodu song from Indian , windows opened, chill breeze striking you, darkness everywhere, cars zooming past…..The real bliss of solitude. Isn’t it? Righteous Solitude is a pinnacle, the right time to discover oneself.
Like a saying goes” Be able to be alone. Lose not the advantage of solitude, and the society of thyself.”